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Ghost of My Father

from My Father Loved Me by Rachael Kilgour

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lyrics

Name your faith
And hold to it tight
We all know how this ends
We all hope to be right

But will a myth save your soul?
Do you have one to begin with?
How can you be sure?

I sit quiet and still
With the ghost of my father
Until it is clear
Why he’s dead and I’m here
But where is ‘here’ exactly?
What’s beyond? No one knows
But the ghost of my father
The ghost…

Are our fates predetermined
Am I acting a part?
Oh, the burden of consciousness
The break of the heart

Tell me what makes a life
Worth living or ending
At the edge of the night?

I sit quiet and still
With the ghost of my father
Until it is clear
Why he’s dead and I’m here
But where is ‘here’ exactly?
What’s beyond? No one knows
But the ghosts of our fathers
The ghosts surely know

I am pointlessly searching
Won’t someone assure me?
Will my efforts be wasted?
My existence erased
At my ragged last breath?
Oh, look at me death
Look me straight in the eyes

What does a dying man owe us?
Should he wear a brave face?
Make the leaving look easy?
Surrender with grace?

But you were frightened and small
When the tether gave way
And I have not forgotten
No, I am not the same

I sit quiet and still
With the ghost of my father
Hoping he’ll make it clear
Why he’s dead and I’m here
But where is ‘here’ exactly?
What’s beyond? I’ll never know
‘Til I’m a ghost like my father
A ghost

credits

from My Father Loved Me, released September 22, 2023

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